Why do I bake?

I was asked the question, “Why do you bake so much?”

The question took me back just a little bit. I did not think that I baked all that much. Yes, I have been baking a lot in the past few months but it was also the holidays and I also did have a purpose to be baking. I kind of got burned out in the process, so I will be perfectly honest about it.

Today as I was baking two pecan pies (to sell) and an apple pie (to eat), I realized that I do bake a lot. I do not really need a reason to. I do not think that I even need to justify it to anyone in particular. It made me think though, “Why do I bake?”

I told the person I was baking the pies for (that bought the pies) that I would bake them for him Saturday night after the Boy Scout Merit Badge University as I would need the stress relief. I was teaching at merit badge class at the event and I would most likely need to burn off some of that stress afterward. You know, the whole a ton of boys in a small space for an extended period of time thing.

Of course, by the time we got home last night I had a migraine from Dante’s Enferno and Lance had fallen sick again. We were not home more than an hour before he was in the bathroom throwing up again. His symptoms this time? Headache, dizziness, sweating, blurry vision, and throwing up. Really that is the same story every single time. This time, however, he had a sore throat. Finally a symptom that is not broad and general. Something focused and we can work with.

I decided that I was not going to wait until Monday to take him to the doctor. There is no point in making him wait. It is only going to get worse. So I loaded him into the car and we went to the normal Doctor’s Express Urgent Care center I like. It is out of network for our insurance but they are affordable and they still file it with the insurance in spite of being out of network. Heck they even take insurance so that is a bonus. Some of those walk-in clinics do not take insurance. I just really wanted a strep test done to make sure it was not strep and I knew they could do one and we would be on our merry way. I knew it would cost more than going to the doctor but when you have a child that has been throwing up randomly and repeatedly off and on for a couple of months (again), it is time to just cut your losses and get to the bottom of it.

The problem was that this place changed their operating hours. There is nothing wrong with that. They can do that if they want. The problem was that it was 6:45pm on a Saturday and they now close at 5:00pm on Saturday. I do not have a problem with that, I just did not know that going down there. Fortunately, it was close by so not a far drive out of the way. I knew that the CVS Minute Clinics stop taking appointments at 5:00pm as well. I called Walgreens to see how late their appointments were although I would have to pay for their clinic out of pocket most likely. They were already closed as well (5:00pm). Unfortunately, short of taking him to an ER there was nothing I could do but wait it out until morning. Miserable or not, he was waiting it out until morning when some of these clinics opened up.

This morning we went into CVS thinking that the clinic opened at 8:30am only to find that they did not open until 10:00am. At least it is very close and I could drive back home and wait it out. He was so miserable this morning. By the time we got there and got in to see the doctor, he was just as miserable as ever. I hate that. Of course they give you a spill about how you should have taken him into the doctor if the random vomiting has gone on this long. I do not care actually what they think. He has been to the doctor. He had a stomach bug at the time. The problem is that this is repeat and ongoing and obviously “something” more than a “bug.” With a sore throat I could not ignore it or brush it off as a lingering sour stomach. A sore throat they can treat. In return I got the scare tactics of “take him to the ER” and the words “those are signs of a brain tumor.”

I am not buying it. He had mono last fall and as I sat there and thought about it, the vomiting like this started then. It got a little better with treatment of the “stomach elements” of the mono, but only when on an anti-nausea drug back then. It has ever since been like this – off and on. He had a stomach bug and that flared it back up again. He had strep since then too and that flared it up. He has not been able to kick this stomach stuff since he had mono last fall.

Short of it is we have no clue what is wrong with Lance. He has a sore throat. He has a sour stomach. He has this headache that comes and goes and is mostly there when he vomits. It is not cool. He rarely if ever runs a fever with any of this. There is nothing concrete to go on to be real honest with you. We were sent home with an order to see his doctor on Monday and to go straight to the ER if it happens again.

So why do I bake? I bake to relieve stress. It does not necessarily have to be baking, exactly. Cooking of any kind helps. Today I made the pies and it just melted my cares away as the ingredients melded together and became one. As I sat there and placed each pecan on the pecan pies I was happy.

It is not a glorious task or something that will get me noticed by millions of people, but it is something that helps me release that toxic energy. So I bake to let it all go.