Out of the mouths of babes…

Sometimes you just can’t help but laugh at the things that come out of the mouths of children of all ages. Last night was no exception…

We’re in the car on the way to Andrew’s school to pick him up (he stayed after to take a make-up quiz from when he was sick). I am just driving along. Lance has been on this “drive along with mommy from the back seat” kick and this was no exception. I had delightful while reckless and speed demonish sounds coming from the back seat. But I hear:

Lance: Hurry up, the cops are on us.

[car noises get louder and more reckless]

Kyle: Ooops! I just stepped on the brake and the gas at the same time and the car split in half.

[Lance starts laughing and more things are said…]

Lance: Look there is a worm hole.

Kyle: Oh no, my backend is stuck in the black hole!

Me: You better step on the brake and the gas at the same time then.

Kyle: Why?

Me: So you don’t get your front end stuck in the black hole.

Now Andrew didn’t find the car sounds so amusing when he got into the car. Go figure, he is 12 years old and car sounds are not so fun anymore. I think they were embarrassing him even if it was just Kyle, Lance, and I with him in the car. Perhaps the strangers would hear and see him in the car with this nonsense going on? *shrug*

We live on the other side of the railroad tracks from Andrew’s school (well Kyle’s school too, but that isn’t the point). We’re maybe 10 cars from the tracks and the arms go down. Yep, train. Perfect timing. I am just glad that no one had to go potty, myself included. I hear from the back seat:

[screeching brakes]

Lance: Awwww come on, let’s hop over the train.

[Me rolling my eyes at this point]

Kyle: I’m going to count cars.

Me: As long as you count quietly, knock yourself out.

Lance: Come on, let’s get back to driving.

Andrew: TomTom find us an alternate route.

Kyle: Oh no, we just bounced off Pluto because Tom Tom found us an alternate route.

Now when Andrew said the whole “TomTom” bit, I about died laughing. Why? Because that line is from a song from some kid’s TV show I’ve seen over the years (fairly recently). I can’t for the life of me remember which show it was. It was kind of cute. Andrew of course knows that a TomTom is GPS device. Of course, I was laughing at the whole Pluto comment.

Sometime later, Lance and I are sitting outside the karate studio waiting for Andrew and Kyle. Andrew is working with someone else on their sword form. Yes, he has a sword. Yes, it is sharp. From the back seat I hear:

Lance: Look Andrew has his sword. It is sharp. He could cut me in half with that.

Me: Yes, I suppose he could. It is sharp, huh?

Lance: Yes, sharp. He could make a mess of me with that sword.

Me: Yes, he could really make a mess of someone with it.

Lance: Then he’d have to use glue to put all my pieces back together.

Me: Glue might work.

I am not entirely sure where Lance got this idea, but at least he knew that glue would put him all back together again and that since his brother was the one with the sword, he should be the one to do the fixing. The child is silly.

Let’s just say that there is NOTHING wrong with my boys’ imagination…as active as they may be…